OK, so this is the first arrrrgggghhhh of the year, and it's a BIG one.
Yes, it's part of life, but DANG health issues can get in the way of the best of intentions...and actions, for that matter. Shortly after I launched this year-long blog, I had the unfortunate opportunity to "re-experience" a back injury that I'd suffered last fall. The medical terms "bulging disk, stenosis, arthritic-whatever-the-heck-itis" were thrown about, and my life became a myriad of MRIs and medications, and an alphabet soup of appointments:
- A stands for acupuncture
- C stands for chiropractic
- G stands for general practitioner
- M stands for massage
- P stands for physical therapy and physiatrist for pain management
Finally, the all-important "W" stands for "WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO NOW that my body, business, balance, and bliss (the four focus areas of this blog) are swirling the drain big time because I CAN'T MOVE, MUCH LESS WRITE SPIRITED BLOGS ABOUT HOW FABULOUSLY I'M GROWING AND EVOLVING! My "year of living changerously" seemed to be starting off with changes I could readily do without. Big time.
So I sulked for a while. And faked "OK-ness" for a while. And tried to power through it for a while. And decided to completely give up my hopes and dreams for a while. And none of these things made anything better in the slightest. Go figure.
And then I finally listened. REALLY listened. Not just to my healthcare providers, because I'd been doing that all along. And not just to my family and friends, who had been imploring me to pull back completely from my commitments so that I could truly rest and fully heal. And not to the books that I've written and the massive research I've done to create them (though I've got to admit, there's really good stuff there!).
What worked? I finally listened TO MYSELF. To my body. To my emotions. To my "inner knowing," all of which had been gently nudging me, then softly alerting me, then painstakingly begging me, then finally SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF ITS ENERGY-BASED LUNGS AT ME. To listen. And more importantly to hear.
- I needed to hear that rest was required not only to recover but also to revive (actually "vive" means to live).
- I needed to hear that I would have to detach from my expectations of how healing should happen in order to allow healing to naturally unfold.
- I needed to hear that I had the choice to disengage from activity and interaction long enough to to know how to fully engage in ways that accommodate well-being at all levels.
- And, I needed to gift myself the time and opportunity to truly feel healthy and whole again. In fact, I was reminded that the origin of the word "health" is actually "whole."
So YES I missed some opportunities, and YES I spent the first couple months of my EntreprenYEAR primarily bedridden. And YES, it was unfortunate and uncomfortable and unbearable at times. At the same time, though, maybe that's exactly what this evolution is supposed to be about. After all, it is the year of living changerously. I didn't really know what that would mean when I began this journey, but I think I'm getting it now.
