The other day, my friend Katie offered me a piece of chocolate and I turned it down, saying, "No thanks. I don't really feel like it." She furrowed her eyebrows a little. "Uh, how about a truffle, then?" No thanks, it just doesn't sound good right now." She looked concerned. "Really? In all these years, I don't think I've ever heard you turn down chocolate. "You're right," I said, "That is a little weird. No, that's a lot weird. I don't think I ever HAVE turned down an offer of chocolate." We both walked away shaking our heads. There was just nothing else to say.
But then I started to worry. I checked my temperature. Looked in the mirror. Did a body scan to see if I felt any renegade mutant cells undermining my well-being and longevity. Nothing.
I glanced out the window to see if there were dark clouds hovering over my home or a plague of locusts descending on the prairie, because maybe this is one of the heretofore unknown signs of the Apocalypse. No evidence to speak of (except evidence of a rather desolate and unkempt back yard).
I felt compelled to Google predictions by Nostradamus and to research what the Mayan calendar foretells about the end of days. I figured I should rent the movie 2012 and see if there's any reference to "Deanna Davis forgoes chocolate" in the action thriller about the cataclysmic end of the earth.
But I'm happy to report that the world is safe for today at least because of a brief conversation I had the other day with my sister, Alicia. We were talking about the relative benefits and drawbacks of supporting the annual Girl Scout Cookie sale (benefits such as investing in the worthy goal of empowering young women and drawbacks such as investing in the purchase of new, larger-sized jeans as a result of such a commitment to empowerment). After our phone call, she promptly Fed-Exed me a box of Girl Scouts Thin Mints, which happily arrived this morning.
My chocolate consumption in the past 20 minutes has not only proven that I need not be alarmed that the end of the world is upon us, but it has also offered several other powerful lessons in both math and civic engagement. Today's Thin Mint buffet has been an illustration of the law of averages--though I did, indeed, turn down chocolate the other day, I more than made up for it in a very short period of time this morning with what can only describe as a truly admirable commitment to the empowerment of young women...and jeans manufacturers...everywhere. Ah, to contribute to society in such a way. And now for a study of how Samoas might impact world peace...
